he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sext me about skeletons
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
