I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
