3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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