Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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