You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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