Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
