Well douche your snatch and let's go!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
