but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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