My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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