so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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