she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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