her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
