He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
