I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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