dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
