I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
