I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize