We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
