so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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