True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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