porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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