I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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