it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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