I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
