I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
