I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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