So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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