Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
