In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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