Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
