A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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