weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
