You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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