His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
