is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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