dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
