Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
