i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize