The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
