Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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