Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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