I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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