I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
