Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
