I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
