Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
