i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
