did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
