normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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