Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
