turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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