There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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