I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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