Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
