Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
