Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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