I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
