Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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