I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
