I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
